Two sisters, one
blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a
few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing
the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out
west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the
bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does
want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram
to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to
send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can
haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's
just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that
she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes,
she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."

A newlywed couple
were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains.
They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly
couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these
newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door
of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they
were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".
The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings
out the window...they're choking my ducks!"