On preparing to
return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for
his son. Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the
man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and sneaked him on board the
airplane.
About 30 minutes into the trip, a stewardess noticed the man shaking and quivering.
"Are you okay, sir?" asked the stewardess
"Yes, I'm fine," said the man.
Later, the stewardess noticed the man moaning and shaking again. "Are you sure
you're alright sir?"
"Yes," said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get
the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the front of my pants."
"What's wrong?" asked the stewardess. "Is he not house trained?"
"No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"

This husband and
wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they
go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready
for slumber) leans over and whispers softly, "Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle
hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."
So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands
flat on her face.
Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone "Oh my little honey bunny,
is your nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three
hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she
trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts "Clumsy bitch."