A husband desperate
to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car.
She curtly declines his offer by saying, "That's not quite what I had in mind."
Frantically he offers her a new house.
Again she rejects his offer, "That's not quite what I had in mind."
Curious, he asks: "What did you have in mind?"
She retorts, "I'd like a divorce."
He answers, "I hadn't planned on spending quite that much."

On a transatlantic
flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things
go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last
minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one
has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on
this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they
all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman,"
he says.
He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes,
he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He
removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends
the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."