One evening a man
was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch
them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and
as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig
it out but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper. He asked his wife for assistance,
and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.
After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the
peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers
up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut
flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy.
The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young
man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned
to the father and said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think he's
going to be when he grows older?!"
The father replies "From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law!"

A Koala bear decides
he wants to get laid, so he picks up a hooker. He goes down on her several times
and they are really enjoying themselves. After they are finished the koala bear
starts getting dressed.
The hooker says, "wheres my money?"
The koala bear shrugs his shoulders. The hooker repeats herself asking for her
money. Again he shrugs his shoulders. The hooker grabs a dictionary and looks
up the word hooker and shows it to the koala bear.
It says "gets paid for sex."
The koala bear picks up the dictionary and looks up Koala Bear and shows it to
the hooker.
It says, "Eats bush and leaves!"