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Picking Fruit
Two guys sneak into a farmer's fruit garden and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of which ever fruit you want," said the farmer. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says,"now shove em' all up your ass." The guy gets all 100 up his ass. He feels really bad, but then e starts to laugh. "Why you laughing?" asked the farmer. To which the man replied, "My friend is out picking watermelons!"
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At The Sperm Bank
A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, "Open the safe." She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank." He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it." After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband. He says, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"
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