A man stopped at
his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man
next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with
the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.
This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He
leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little
ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink
your shot & beer?"
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts looking
good, I'm heading home!"

A man is walking
down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork
and out pops a genie.
The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant
you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want.
First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears
in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right
next to him.
He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates