After a bizarre
cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves
hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were
blondes and one was a brunette. After dangling there for a only a short while
it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They
decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must
sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.
Well they talked about it for a while but no-one could decide a fair way of of
choosing who should jump. Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness
of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap.
To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice.
She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save
them.
After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered
after she'd gone, the blondes were so moved that they all started clapping!

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"