A wife woke of
the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed
and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement.
After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled
up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about
what could hurt him so much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to
marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."

This husband and
wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they
go off to bed.
However, as soon as they settled down, the man leans over and whispers softly,
"Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes
yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."
So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands
flat on her face. Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone "Oh my
little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three
hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she
trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts "Clumsy bitch."