A couple was invited
to a swanky masked Hallowe'en Party. She got a terrible headache and told her
husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she
argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was
no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and
away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain and as it
was still early, she decided to go the party. In as much as her husband did not
know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her
husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance
floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here
and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive
babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new
stuff that had just arrived She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since
he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they
went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight,
she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering
what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're
not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there,
I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played
poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I
loaned my costume to..."

HOW TO SATISFY
A WOMAN:
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade,
compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube,
stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond,
anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize,
leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality
for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust,
grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromatize, fuse,
fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil,
embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead,
borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect,
entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease,
flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, Anglicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle,
elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble,
gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence,
diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly,
don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize,
humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken,
undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral
wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and
worship, and then go back, and start again.