A man and his wife
are doing yard work. Husband says to wife, "Your butt is as wide as the grill."
She ignores the remark.
A little later the husband takes his measuring tape and goes over to his wife
while she is bending over working in a flower bed. He measures her rear end and
gasps, "Geez, it IS as wide as the grill!"
Later that night while in bed her husband starts to feel frisky. She calmly responds,
"If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you ARE
mistaken."

A couple went on
vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to
read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early
that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat
out.
She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and
started reading her book. Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside
the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing?
She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted
fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing. To which he replied, "But
you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"
Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If
you do that, I will charge you with rape."
The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you."
To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"