A young blonde
was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator
shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can
get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch
yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself
an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home,when he spots the young woman
standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot
alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature, and
with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.
Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches
in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts
out, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.

"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"

"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".

Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.

"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13.."