A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May i see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.

The first said, "I think my husband's like a championship golfer. He's spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke."

The second woman said, "My husband's like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps."

The third woman was silent until she was asked, "Tell us about your husband."

She thought for a moment and said, "My husband's like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler."

"How so?"

"He's got his time down to under 40 seconds."