A man and a woman
started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this,
the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."
The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

This woman is driving
into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in
front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy
runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts
screwing it.
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees
the local sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar.
"It figures," she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting
in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar
with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run
over some cowboy sodomizing an animal.... and then ...I come in here ...and see
this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!"
"Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a coyote
at his age, do ya?"