Dr. Leroy, the
head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if
they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart
that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might
do once you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical
engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand,
I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what
it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like
that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history,
which I've grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being
a teapot."

This young couple
had only been married for about two weeks when the wife complains of a burning
sensation in her chest. She tells her husband who suggests that she goes to the
doctor to be examined. She arranges an appointment and goes the following day.
The husband, while at work receives a call from the doctor.
Doctor: "I am sorry to say your wife has acute angina..."
Husband: "Yeah, I know, she's got a nice pair of tits too!"