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Go forth and multiply
A young woman married
and had 13 boys. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more boys.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more boys.
Alas, she finally croaked.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him
for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."
In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her
first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."
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Holiday Dinner
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line.
She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
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