It seems that a
young couple had just got married and spent their first wedding night with the
young man's parents. In the morning, his mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast
including freshly cut flowers from her garden and gourmet food. She went to the
bottom the stairs and called everyone to come down to breakfast. Everyone came
down, except the newly-weds. After a long wait, the family ate without them.
The mother said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
The groom's young brother said, "Mommy, I think..."
"Oh, shut up. I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not wanting
to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.
At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and again called the
young couple to eat. Five minutes went by and she called again. After another
long wait, the family proceeded to eat.
As she was cleaning the table, mother once again said, "I wonder why they never
came down to eat? Once again, the younger brother started to speak, but mother
immediately shut him up.
At dinner the same thing happened. After the meal, mother once again questioned
why they had not come down to eat all day.
The young lad once again said, "Mommy I think..."
"Well, what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather testily.
"I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last night, he
got my model airplane glue instead!"

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May i see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'