A young blonde
was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator
shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can
get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch
yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself
an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home,when he spots the young woman
standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot
alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature, and
with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.
Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches
in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts
out, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

A blonde is terribly
overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for
2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time
I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why,
that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that
3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor."
"No, from all that skipping."