A guy walks into
a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: - $1.50.
Chicken Sandwich: - $2.50.
Hand Job: - $10.00.
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons
one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking
group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am"
The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

This couple go
to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and
are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces
the first bull to be auctioned off, "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60
times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, "See! That was more than
5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold, "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced
120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 5 times a month. What do you
say to that?" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale, "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365
times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day
of the year! How about you?"
The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, "Sure, once a day! Great!
But, you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!"