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Newly wed couple
this newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:
wife: before we do this i have something i have to tell u.
husband: we're married now, u can tell me anything.
wife: i'm flat chested.
husband: i don't believe u..prove it.
So she takes off her shirt.
husband: holy shit i never seen a smaller chest, but i have something i have to tell u too.
wife: we're married now u can tell me anything.
husband: im "weighed like a baby".
wife: i don't believe you, prove it.
So he takes off his pants.
wife: i thought u sayed u were weighed like a baby?!
husband: i am 6lbs 7ounces!
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Blaming The Dog
A guy goes to pick
up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living
room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some
pressure.
Then, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can
let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart,
and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts.
Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
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