Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!"
And so they did.
As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!"
And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"

Everybody on earth
dies and goes to heaven. The Lord comes and says "I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for
the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with
St Peter."
Said and done, the next time The Lord looked the women are gone and there are
two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles
long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
The Lord got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created
you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of
my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how
did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here"