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The Convicted Felon Returns
A convicted felon
was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail,
he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes,
running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of.
Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell. His wife opened the door
and bellowed at him, "You good-for-nothing bum! Where the hell have ya been? You
escaped over six hours ago."
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At The Sperm Bank
A masked man goes
into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, "Open
the safe."
She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot."
She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman
realizes the robber is her husband.
He says, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"
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