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A question of semantics
Mr. Johnson got
himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. One day, while
taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open.
When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open."
He did not understand her remark but later on, he happened to look down and saw
that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary.
Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door
open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little
disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
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The Best Time To Process Your Payments
Three friends decided
to visit a prostitute. It was a slow night, So she gave the guys a deal. "You
can pay by the inch."
When the first man comes back out his friends ask, "How much did she charge you?"
"$75 dollars," said the first.
The second guy goes in and returns with a fee of $85. The first two were proud
of their prowess.
The third man goes in and returns, "How much did she charge you?" ask the first
two.
" $20 dollars" replies the third.
The first two start laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied the third, "I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out instead
of on the way in!"
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