There were 3 people
in a crashing plane, the smartest man in the world, the president of the USA,
and a little girl. There were only two parachutes.
The smartest man in the world stood up and said, "The people who would benefit
the world the most should be the ones who get the parachutes and I being the smartest
man am one of those."
With that he grabbed one and jumped out.
The president looks at the little girl and says "I've led a good long life, you
take the last parachute."
And the little girl replies, "Don't worry, we can both have one, the smartest
man in the world just jumped out with my backpack."

A farmer and his
brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of
horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say
anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride raised all kind of hell with him, telling him, "That was an
awful thing to do."
The farmer said, "That's once."