A man is walking
down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork
and out pops a genie.
The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant
you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want.
First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears
in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right
next to him.
He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates

Mr. Johnson got
himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. One day, while
taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open.
When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open."
He did not understand her remark but later on, he happened to look down and saw
that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary.
Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door
open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little
disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."