this newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:

wife: before we do this i have something i have to tell u.

husband: we're married now, u can tell me anything.

wife: i'm flat chested.

husband: i don't believe u..prove it.

So she takes off her shirt.

husband: holy shit i never seen a smaller chest, but i have something i have to tell u too.

wife: we're married now u can tell me anything.

husband: im "weighed like a baby".

wife: i don't believe you, prove it.

So he takes off his pants.

wife: i thought u sayed u were weighed like a baby?!

husband: i am 6lbs 7ounces!

A man was invited
for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded
his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc.,
etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years
you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."