A husband desperate
to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car.
She curtly declines his offer by saying, "That's not quite what I had in mind."
Frantically he offers her a new house.
Again she rejects his offer, "That's not quite what I had in mind."
Curious, he asks: "What did you have in mind?"
She retorts, "I'd like a divorce."
He answers, "I hadn't planned on spending quite that much."

There are two blondes
and a brunette on an island. One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops
out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each (you get the picture)...
The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat."
With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.
The second blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I need jetski"
With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking
the first blonde.
The genie looks enquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles
and says," Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge."