This woman is driving
into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in
front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy
runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts
screwing it.
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees
the local sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar.
"It figures," she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting
in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar
with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here? I drive into town and almost run
over some cowboy sodomizing an animal.... and then ...I come in here ...and see
this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!"
"Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a coyote
at his age, do ya?"

A man had to attend
a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his
wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said:
"You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close
to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking
this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes
the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says
he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the
story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in. "What," he
says, "are you doing here?"
The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"