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Go forth and multiply
A young woman married
and had 13 boys. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more boys.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more boys.
Alas, she finally croaked.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him
for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."
In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her
first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."
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Admiring Our Own Work
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.
After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
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