A convicted felon
was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail,
he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes,
running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of.
Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell. His wife opened the door
and bellowed at him, "You good-for-nothing bum! Where the hell have ya been? You
escaped over six hours ago."

A blond and a brunette
jump off the Empire State Building. It takes the blonde 3 minutes longer to hit
the ground than it does or the brunette. Why?
She had to stop to ask for directions.