A guy was going
on vacation and he didn't want his girl friend to have sex with any other guy
while he was gone so the guy want to a porn shop and said to the clerk, "I need
something to keep my girlfriend from having sex with another guy!"
So the clerk gets a box and said, "This is a Voodoo Dick. Here is a example of
how it works," and the clerk said, "Voodoo Dick, the door!" and the dick went
and fucked the door.
Then the clerk said to get in the box say 'voodoo dick your box.'"
So the guy brings it to his girlfriend and shows her how to use it but didn't
tell her how to make it stop.
The next morning before she went to work she said, "Voodoo Dick, my pussy!" and
it was the best sex she ever had, but she didn't know how to get it to stop.
So she went to the Doctors with it fucking her and eventually got in to see a
gynaecologist.
She said, "I have a Voodoo Dick in my pussy and there's no way I can get it out!"
The Doctor looks at her suspiciously and says, "Voodoo Dick, my ass!"

A man and a woman
were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order
at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair
and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight
under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled,
apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said
to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the
table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. He just walked
in the door."