Two young lovers
go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the
guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are
freezing!"
She says, "Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again,
"Man! my hands are really freezing!"
She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does,
and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through
the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really
freezing!"
She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"

An overweight blonde
went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles
a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty
pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased
to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor
and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"