Two carrots were
walking down the road one day when all of a sudden a car drove by and hit one
of them. The other carrot took the injured carrot to the hospital.
After examining him the doctor came into the waiting room and said, "I have good
news and bad news. The good news is your friend will live. The bad news is he'll
be a vegetable the rest of his life."

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."