There was a Blonde,
a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous
evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion,
they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other
two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far
behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took
you so long?" inquired the Redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?"
replied the Brunette.
"No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.
Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came
into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long?"
"What do you expect? You guy's cheated, replied the idignant blonde, "You
used your hands!"

Questions:

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?

Answers:

1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course!

Now Really! Just what were you thinking?