A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

A businessman returns
from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors. They all say: "You've been screwing around in the
Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to
cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Thailand.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This
is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."