On preparing to
return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for
his son. Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the
man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and sneaked him on board the
airplane.
About 30 minutes into the trip, a stewardess noticed the man shaking and quivering.
"Are you okay, sir?" asked the stewardess
"Yes, I'm fine," said the man.
Later, the stewardess noticed the man moaning and shaking again. "Are you sure
you're alright sir?"
"Yes," said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get
the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the front of my pants."
"What's wrong?" asked the stewardess. "Is he not house trained?"
"No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"

A young ventriloquist
is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going
through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth
row stands on her chair and says,
"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What
makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical
attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who
keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching
my full potential as a person...
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only
blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You
stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"