A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line.

She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

A four-year-old
boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not
know and he would ask his dad.
That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his
son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take
a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."
The next day the second five year old boy met the first five year old boy and
called him behind a hedge.
The boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three
inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"