A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."

Dr. Leroy, the
head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if
they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart
that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might
do once you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical
engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand,
I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what
it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like
that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history,
which I've grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being
a teapot."