A young man goes
into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs
of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner
with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get
lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better
give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but
continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You
never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is
a pharmacist."

Three Boy Scouts,
a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.
The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy
Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them"
The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says, "Do we have time?"