A guy goes to pick
up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living
room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some
pressure.
Then, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can
let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart,
and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts.
Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood.

Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.

He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.

"This is a brothel", replied the madam.

"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.

"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."