Two sisters, one
blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a
few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing
the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out
west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the
bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does
want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram
to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to
send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can
haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's
just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that
she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes,
she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."

One day, back in
the olden days, a cowboy was crossing the desert to do some trading and came upon
an Indian. The Indian was laying on his back and had an erection that stuck straight
up in the air.
The cowboy asked the Indian what he was doing.
The Indian replied, "Me tell-um time." This made sense to the cowboy, he was using
his penis as a sundial.
A few days later, after completing his trading, the cowboy came across the same
Indian. This time the Indian was laying on his back vigorously masturbating.
The cowboy asked what he was doing this time.
The Indian said, "Me wind-um watch."