1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.

2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.

3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area.

4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.

5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs.

6 You've both gone down one clothing size.

7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's nothing left to adjust.

8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag.

9. Boy, are you hungry!

10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time.

A guy goes to pick
up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living
room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some
pressure.
Then, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can
let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart,
and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts.
Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."