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Cold Hands...
Two young lovers
go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the
guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are
freezing!"
She says, "Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again,
"Man! my hands are really freezing!"
She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does,
and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through
the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really
freezing!"
She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"
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Go forth and multiply
A young woman married
and had 13 boys. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more boys.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more boys.
Alas, she finally croaked.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him
for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."
In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her
first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."
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