A wife woke of
the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed
and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement.
After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled
up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about
what could hurt him so much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to
marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."

A woman walks into
a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?