This guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex.

"Doc, I think my dick is just too damn small," he says.

The doctor asks him which drink he prefers.

Well, American beer," he replies quite bemused.

"Aaaahhh. There's your problem, it shrinks things, those silly American beers.. you should try drinking Guinness.

That makes things grow."

Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face.

He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him.

"I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doctor.

"Oh no, Doc," replies the man, "but I've got the wife on American beer!"

The train was travelling
along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted
except for a businessman reading his paper. The man peered over his paper and
asked "Would you let me kiss you for fifty pence?"
"Certainly not!" exclaimed the young woman, and the businessman returned
to his paper. A short while later he looked across again and said "Would
you let me kiss you for a thousand pounds?"
After a brief pause, the woman replied "yes, I suppose I would." Again
the man returned to his newspaper.
A few minutes later the man asked "Would you let me kiss you for five pounds?"
"Certainly not!" replied the young woman, getting angry now "What
kind of girl do you take me for?"
"We've already established that" replied the man, "We're just haggling
over the price!"