A new bride was
a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled
up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear
that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

Paddy and his two
friends are talking at work. His first friend says:"I think my wife is having
an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters
under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says:"I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the
other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says:"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse."
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."