A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

After just a few
years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided
the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each
other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and
opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately,
the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand,
the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their
marriage.
After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counsellor went over
to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes,
and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless. He looked over
at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counsellor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and
Thursdays."