A guy was going
on vacation and he didn't want his girl friend to have sex with any other guy
while he was gone so the guy want to a porn shop and said to the clerk, "I need
something to keep my girlfriend from having sex with another guy!"
So the clerk gets a box and said, "This is a Voodoo Dick. Here is a example of
how it works," and the clerk said, "Voodoo Dick, the door!" and the dick went
and fucked the door.
Then the clerk said to get in the box say 'voodoo dick your box.'"
So the guy brings it to his girlfriend and shows her how to use it but didn't
tell her how to make it stop.
The next morning before she went to work she said, "Voodoo Dick, my pussy!" and
it was the best sex she ever had, but she didn't know how to get it to stop.
So she went to the Doctors with it fucking her and eventually got in to see a
gynaecologist.
She said, "I have a Voodoo Dick in my pussy and there's no way I can get it out!"
The Doctor looks at her suspiciously and says, "Voodoo Dick, my ass!"

A guy and his manager
go down to the docks. The manager is betting every docker he sees that his guy
can make love to 100 women in a row, without pausing, and satisfy them all.
Bets are made, and they agree that they'll meet the next day. The next day, 100
women are lined up along the dock . The guy drops his pants and starts.
True to his word, he moves from one to the next, satisfying each one without pausing:
1.. 2.. 3.. on and on he goes: 49.. 50.. 51.. He slows down somewhat: 83.... 84....
85.... but he is still moving from one to the next, and the women are still satisfied:
97............ 98............. 99.............
...and before he can get to the last woman, he has a heart attack and dies.
The manager scratches his head in puzzlement and says, "I don't understand it!
It went perfectly well at practice this morning!"