This husband and
wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they
go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready
for slumber) leans over and whispers softly, "Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle
hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first."
So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands
flat on her face.
Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone "Oh my little honey bunny,
is your nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three
hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she
trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts "Clumsy bitch."

A convicted felon
was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail,
he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes,
running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of.
Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell. His wife opened the door
and bellowed at him, "You good-for-nothing bum! Where the hell have ya been? You
escaped over six hours ago."