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Convict On The Loose
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound-up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered,
"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!"
"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a nice, tight butt!"
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Doing It In The Dark
Claire was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they always have sex in the dark.
Hoping to rid him of his inhibitions, during a passionate evening she flipped on her reading lamp and was shocked to find a cucumber in his hand.
"Is this what you have been using on me for the past 8 years?" she exclaimed.
"Honey, let me explain…." he pleaded.
"You sneaky swine!" she screamed. "You impotent Son of a Bitch!"
"Speaking of sneaky!" he interjected,
"Perhaps you'd care to explain our two boys!!"
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