This couple go
to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and
are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces
the first bull to be auctioned off, "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60
times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, "See! That was more than
5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold, "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced
120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 5 times a month. What do you
say to that?" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale, "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365
times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day
of the year! How about you?"
The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, "Sure, once a day! Great!
But, you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!"

A man and his wife
are doing yard work. Husband says to wife, "Your butt is as wide as the grill."
She ignores the remark.
A little later the husband takes his measuring tape and goes over to his wife
while she is bending over working in a flower bed. He measures her rear end and
gasps, "Geez, it IS as wide as the grill!"
Later that night while in bed her husband starts to feel frisky. She calmly responds,
"If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you ARE
mistaken."